Happy
Seeing as I’m on vacation from the day job and approximately five hours away from completing (entirely!) my research job, this is going to be a very, very short post.
Probably a disjointed one too, because I’m kind of in the mood to just jot down what’s making my heart beat faster these days.
One such thing is the fact that I was able to remove from my list of “current” jobs (on LinkedIn) the research position. Yes, I’m jumping the gun by a few hours/days, but heck, in my head I’m so near to being done that it didn’t feel false to do so. So now I’m down to my one real job, my one volunteer job and the ever-present freelance writer title (which I hesitate to leave on as current because I can’t remember the last time I actually did any writing either outside of Shameless or this blog. I left it just because I’m not ready to excise it from my conception of myself [as it aligns with what I wanted to be when I grew up—which is actually a great idea for another post]).
This subtraction of current jobs makes me happy. Though this is immediately countered by the feeling of sadness/frustration/disappointment that arises when I remember that I don’t have “Tutor” listed as a current position though it is (at least starting up again in September it is). Just as I simplify, I must once again complicate.
The immediate subsequent counter to these negative feelings, however, is the hope that’s tied to my ever-strengthening belief that my day-job is going to provide me with more money/more hours so that I will eventually be able to finally excise Tutor as I’ve excised research assistant (and, previously, receptionist). Case in point: as of August 2 (when I return from vacation) I am officially a full-time employee, my hours having been bumped from 22/week to 24 (ridiculous, I know!). As of Aug. 2 I’ll be eligible for paid vacation, sick and discretionary days, as well as health, dental and other coverage. Plus, without going into the details of the behind-the-scenes bureaucracy, now that I’ve made the jump from 22 to 24, getting a further increase in hours or an increase in my wage is easy as pie.
So the opportunity for me to further cut out my cobbled-together, multiple part-time positions to streamline down to one is not a distant mirage anymore—though it is still distant.
All in all, however, the above situation re: my employment makes me happy. And grateful. The job is a joy and now it’s becoming more real and full and fulfilling. I am happy and lucky.
Another thing that makes me feel pretty good these days is our apartment.* We recently hung some new framed pictures/posters and got a new pillow for our bed and mat for the kitchen. We also swapped out all the outdated wooden handles on the kitchen cabinets for plain white knobs. Once the holes from the old hardware are filled it will be a truly stunning (and LONG-awaited) transformation…one that makes me extra happy. These are the simplest, most banal of items/changes, but they make me swell. We are nearly there in terms of having a fully-decorated place (fully decorated to my standards, that is) and this is a triumph in my books.
The final aspect of my life that’s rockin’ my boat (in a favourable manner) is family. My brother’s here for a visit and it is the best thing ever. In terms of my family, there is no one better or cooler, no sibling I love more. Having him around (as opposed to on the other side of the country) makes everything brighter and funnier and more fun. I am hopeful that time will slow sufficiently to make his week here seem like two.
All spheres or corners or facets of my life are coming together in ways that make me struggle to think of how they could possibly get better. The fact that I am aware of this marvelous convergence makes me further grateful for it and appreciative of each day I can enjoy it—especially when those days are vacation days!
On that note, consider this post complete. Stay tuned for next week’s entry where hopefully I remember to take up the aforementioned topic of the disjuncture between “when I grow up” me and the me as I know it, grown (somewhat) up.
* Though I feel it goes without saying, the best and more important thing in my life that also (duh) makes me happy is my relationship with my doll baby. It is truly the greatest.
